Connecting Through Listening

Listening Skills

Learning begins through listening. Active listening requires responsibility. It involves taking in information, processing it, and determining a response. It requires good eye contact (nonverbal behavior), asking questions, and listening to facts, emotions, and interpretations.

Listening Data

• 85% of what we know we learn by listening.
• 75% of the time we are preoccupied, distracted, or forgetful.
• We spend 23% of the time listening.
• We spend 45% of the time talking.
• We can immediately recall 50% of what we hear.
• We remember 20% of what we hear long-term.
• Less than 2% of people have participated in education related to listening.
• Being listened to makes the difference between feeling accepted and feeling isolated.
• Listening is essential to the development and survival of an individual.
• Most people will not listen or pay attention to your point of view until they are convinced you have heard and appreciated their point of view.
• Being listened to means we are taken seriously, our ideas and feelings are known, and ultimately what we say matters.
• We learn to think by listening; we learn to live by listening; we learn about our self by listening.

Reasons to Be a Good Listener

Typically, when we are engaged in conversation we tend to decide what the outcome will be and how we feel about it before we hear the entire conversation. We see things the way we think they are instead of how they really are. This can happen when we do not consider important factors such as culture, race, and socioeconomic status.

Tips for Effective Listening

Stop talking

Focus on the present moment

Be aware of your prejudices

Interpret what you hear

Listen to nonverbal communication

Make eye contact

Use facial expressions & gestures

Note your body orientation & proximity

Have humor

Tips for Effective Response

Ask open and closed questions

Show interest

Pause and be silent

Use reflective statements

Validate feelings

Be empathetic